Have You Heard about This “Star Wars” Thing?

December 14, 2015

On Friday of this week, Star Wars: The Force Awakens will open to North American audiences after premiering in Hollywood TONIGHT! (OMG OMG OMG). This is officially Episode VII in George Lucas’ ongoing epic space opera, and people are…a bit excited about it. I have done some calculations, and I have determined it will make ALL THE MONEY. There will be no more money left to make after Friday, so you might want to hurry if you’d like to make some more money real quick.

I’m excited for the movie, but I’m nowhere near as excited as a great many people. For example, I do not currently possess tickets to any showing of the film whereas others have had them for months. I haven’t rushed out to buy them for a couple of simple reasons. First, I can live with it if some of the movie is spoiled for me before going. I’m going to avoid that, but if I happen to learn more than I’d like before going, I expect it’ll still be pretty fun to see.

The second reason I’m not in a huge rush is that I would like to see the movie with as few hardcore Star Wars fans as possible. Even if the movie is terrible, it’s likely there’ll at least be a few devotees seeing it for the twelfth time when I do finally go, but I don’t really want to feel like I got transported to the Mos Eisley cantina while in the theater. That’s just not my bag.

Still, it’s pretty exciting to have a new Star Wars movie. Movie trailers are, by their very nature, designed to make you believe EVERY movie is the BEST movie. But I think most Star Wars fans would agree that the footage seen to date appears to capture the look and feel of the original trilogy–sparse desert worlds, sweeping aerial battles, epic struggle between good and evil–as opposed to some of the bloat and over-reliance on CGI in the prequel trilogy. I don’t know whether it’ll hold up from a narrative and storytelling perspective, but I’m reasonably confident that most audiences will spend the two hours just watching cool stuff happen onscreen and not worrying too much about the rest until they’re back at home. Even then, they might not care.

Blockbuster films of this magnitude are pretty rare. Even though I’m getting a little burned out on hearing about it so much, it’s been exciting to get reacquainted with Star Wars in the last year or so since the title of the new film was announced. So in honor of Episode VII in the Star Wars saga, I thought I would share a screenshot of my favorite moment from all the Star Wars films to date.

This is right before the big battle against Gozer and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

This is right before the big battle where the Starks and Lannisters join forces to fight Gozer and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.*

The real question this week–when are we gonna get Spaceballs II?


Picture courtesy of Anthony Crider under Creative Commons 2.0

*This picture might be the most delicious joke in the history of the internet. I was unable to figure out who made it originally, but that person is a hero to me. It trolls (lightheartedly, of course) at least five fandoms, which is amazing. Can you name them all? (not counting the caption, that is)

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